Children’s ability to listen to advice needs to be trained from an early age, so that children can grow up to be individuals who obey the rules. However, most children still don’t want to listen to their parents, some are even critical of what their parents say. Problems like this are common, either because the child doesn’t want to listen or pretends not to listen.
According to psychologist and UC Berkeley lecturer Erica Reischer, Ph.D., when your child won’t listen, don’t yell at your child. Shouting, according to him, does attract children’s attention, but it is problematic because it makes communication ineffective. He said research also shows that yelling may have a harmful effect on children comparable to physical punishment, such as spanking. So, when your child isn’t listening, don’t yell at him every now and then.
So, instead of getting angry when your child doesn’t listen, you should try the following 5 tips:
1. Listen to the Children First
Children aged 6 to 9 years, begin to be interested in the world outside the home, such as at school or in their play environment. Children tend to enjoy their new world more and don’t care what you have to say. Well, some parents also don’t understand the situation their child is in outside the home, making it difficult to empathize. As a result, the relationship between you and your child becomes distant.
Before you force your child to listen to you, it’s best to build intimacy first. You have to listen to the stories and complaints of children. In this way, it is hoped that the child will begin to open up and accept your advice.
2. Don’t talk until your child notices you
Don’t talk too much when your child isn’t paying attention to you. If the child wants to hear, then try to approach him, try to squat and be parallel to him. Research reveals that when we feel connected to others, we are more open to their influence. So you get your child to listen, but not manipulate it.
When the child is not looking at you, then wait for him to notice you. If the child is already paying attention, look him in the eye and start talking. That way, children generally want to listen to their parents.
3. Use easy-to-understand words
Some parents sometimes lecture their children with complicated and lengthy words. This is, in fact, difficult for children to accept. Therefore, use as few words as possible when you give instructions to children. Children also often forget what He just heard, because the words are too complicated and long.
Get in the habit of giving one instruction for one thing. Well, if you want to give a lot of instructions, then give a sequence. For example, “First, you clean the toys. Second, wash your hands, and then you can eat.” Giving orders sequentially is much more easily understood by children.
4. Find out why your child doesn’t want to listen
Before you try different ways to get your child to listen, it’s best to find out why your child won’t listen to you. Generally, children are lazy to listen because they don’t like what you have to say. In addition, it could also be because the child does not agree with your request, but he does not dare to express it.
For example, when you ask a child to lend a toy he is holding to a friend or sibling, the child may pretend not to hear you. He did this not because he meant to ignore you, but because he found it difficult to obey the commandment. Usually this happens when the child already has an ego and is possessive of something.
5. State the Reason and Purpose of Your Order
Children sometimes do not want to listen to their parents, because they do not know the importance of their parents’ advice and words. So, so that your child will listen to you, don’t forget to convey the reasons and objectives of what you say to him.
For example, when you ask your child to stop playing the game, include a reason that the child can understand. For example, playing games for too long can make children lazy to study, disturbed sleep, and at worst children are addicted to games. If possible, also show articles or videos that support your reasons.
So, those are 5 tips that you can try to get your child to listen when you talk and give advice. So that the child always listens to you, don’t forget to give praise every time he wants to listen to you. Tell him how happy you are when your child is a good listener and willing to take your advice or requests.